when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You brought string cheese to the strip club
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
