I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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