God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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