i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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