remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
