yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
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We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Pants are for mortals
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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