He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
