White coat. Heels.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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