so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
