is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
