I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
