Jerry, you need to find god
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
