is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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