Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
