kristin has been a bad kristin
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
