I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize