I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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