The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
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im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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