i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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