I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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