Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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