The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
