she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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