You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
