i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.