I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
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Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
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I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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