Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
