I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Couch. On fire.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
