Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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