Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize