The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
