Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize