i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
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