So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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