Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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