if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize