Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
