Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
