in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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