If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
