Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
