I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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