When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
