Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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