just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
