she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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