I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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