So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
