I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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