Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
