): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I've blown a few things in my day
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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