We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
