the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
