do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Sacagawea was the original milf.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
