You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
