I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
