I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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