as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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