Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
